Navigating Parenting & Family During the Holidays
By Dr. Anil Kapoor • 3/22/2025
I got an email last week from a reader that stopped me in my tracks. They wrote: "I feel like nobody actually understands what this is like."
I want to try.
Moving Forward
I want to be careful here because this gets oversimplified a lot.
I remember my own experience with this vividly. It was a Tuesday — I don't know why I remember that — and I was sitting in my car in a parking lot, unable to go inside the grocery store. Not because of anything dramatic. Just... couldn't do it. If you've been there, you know the feeling.
What I've Seen Work
A 2023 meta-analysis in the Journal of Clinical Psychology looked at this exact question. Here's what they found.
Here's my "right now" emergency list — things you can do in the next 60 seconds:
- Splash cold water on your face. This triggers the mammalian dive reflex and immediately slows your heart rate.
- Hold something cold. An ice cube, a frozen water bottle. The sensation interrupts the anxiety circuit.
- Do the physiological sigh. Two quick inhales through your nose, then one long exhale through your mouth. Repeat three times.
- Push your feet hard into the floor. This activates your proprioceptive system and grounds you in your body.
- Hum or sing. The vibration stimulates your vagus nerve, which controls your parasympathetic (calming) nervous system.
What to Try This Week
This is where things get interesting — and where most generic advice falls short.
I remember my own experience with this vividly. It was a Tuesday — I don't know why I remember that — and I was sitting in my car in a parking lot, unable to go inside the grocery store. Not because of anything dramatic. Just... couldn't do it. If you've been there, you know the feeling.
If I could leave you with one thing, it's this: you're not failing at feeling better. You're learning. And learning is messy and slow and frustrating. But it works, eventually, if you keep showing up.
NEHA is here to support your wellness journey, but we always encourage connecting with a licensed professional for ongoing mental health concerns.