🪞

Before we get into the research and the tips, I want to acknowledge something: if you're reading this, you're probably dealing with something real. That matters.

What's Really Going On

This is the part most people skip, but it might be the most important section.

When I was in training, my supervisor said something that I still think about: "People don't come to therapy because they're broken. They come because they're stuck." There's a crucial difference.

What I've Seen Work

This is where things get interesting — and where most generic advice falls short.

Neuroscience has come a long way on this topic. We now know that the brain's neuroplasticity — its ability to rewire itself — means that these patterns aren't permanent. With consistent practice, you can literally change the neural pathways that maintain this cycle.

The Research Perspective

A 2023 meta-analysis in the Journal of Clinical Psychology looked at this exact question. Here's what they found.

Here's my "right now" emergency list — things you can do in the next 60 seconds:

• Splash cold water on your face. This triggers the mammalian dive reflex and immediately slows your heart rate.
• Hold something cold. An ice cube, a frozen water bottle. The sensation interrupts the anxiety circuit.
• Do the physiological sigh. Two quick inhales through your nose, then one long exhale through your mouth. Repeat three times.
• Push your feet hard into the floor. This activates your proprioceptive system and grounds you in your body.
• Hum or sing. The vibration stimulates your vagus nerve, which controls your parasympathetic (calming) nervous system.

Progress isn't going to look like a straight line. There will be setbacks. Days where you feel like you're back at square one. You're not — you're just having a hard day. Those are different things.

Remember: seeking help isn't a sign of weakness. It's one of the bravest things you can do.